Facing Downe But Looking Up

Queer. Asian. Educated. Early 20's.

Things are hard but I’m an optimist at heart. I’m facing downe but looking up.

All Day Every Day.
Hopeless Romantic It’s rather confounding; at least, I find it.  Many believe that there is one specific way to be in a healthy relationship and that perfection is obtained only when finding the “man of their dreams.”  As if somewhere lost there is a book of love that foretells the hidden secrets of receiving all its glory. Well, who knows, maybe there is some novel out there already written or yet to be written; this all based on my own personal, bias, opinion. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to take your significant other out on dates to kiss beneath the stars, dance in the moonlight to slow songs, or long walks on the beach; I just don’t want to believe that all it takes is someone who can “sing, dance, and play the guitar” to fall in love.  Three qualities don’t embody a relationship and should most definitely not determine whether you should or shouldn’t date someone. I really am confused about this idealistic vision created by us.  Here we are saying that “we shouldn’t change ourselves; the other person should love us for who we are both inside and out” yet there are countless highly rated and favored movies where someone must change to discover true love; such the case of Aladdin and Ariel.  In addition, we scream and scour at the one who cheated and left us with nothing yet there are films academy awarded and acclaimed when “she must leave the one she’s currently with to be with the person she’s meant to be with.”  Who’s wrong in these situations?  What really claims to be correct and true in any of these cases?  Is this how love is supposed to be?  Is this how our hopeful romantic fantasies play through? I don’t believe that there is a one, certain, distinct way to love someone; love isn’t a concept that can be studied, graded, and tested on whether you were right or wrong. I think expectations are the biggest mistakes we make when we introduce ourselves to someone we believe “fits” our ideal qualities:   He’s a dancer, that’s a deal maker He doesn’t like romantic movies, that’s a deal breaker He cooks, that’s a deal maker He doesn’t work out, that’s a deal breaker He’s a perfectionist, that’s a deal maker He’s a perfectionist?  That’s a deal breaker Expectations will only cause us to disappoint ourselves and make the other person feel miserable if they’re not met; sadly enough, most of the time this is true. Love to me?  It’s something that’s ridiculously hard.  It’s experience; it’s going to take a thousand heartbreaks before you truly understand it.  Ironically, this is the reason why it “hurts so good.”  It’s the greatest high and worst come down.  It’s time consuming  yet passes by in an instant.  It’s like a knife in your back that you don’t want to take out.  It’s a balance act; nobody should outweigh the other.  Look left and right before crossing because chances are there’s going to be a ton of obstacles before you get through.  It’s not a waiting game yet you shouldn’t rush into things.  Lastly, as much as this probably doesn’t make any sense; to be completely honest, it’s not supposed to. Once again; even though I’m trying to make my own definition of love to pass on to you, I honestly can’t and shouldn’t because that would have defeated the purpose of me writing this in the first place.  This is my own personal, bias opinion that I’m sure is completely idiotic to the next person who reads it… …  who am I to say what love is or isn’t?  Nobody.Hopeless Romantic It’s rather confounding; at least, I find it.  Many believe that there is one specific way to be in a healthy relationship and that perfection is obtained only when finding the “man of their dreams.”  As if somewhere lost there is a book of love that foretells the hidden secrets of receiving all its glory. Well, who knows, maybe there is some novel out there already written or yet to be written; this all based on my own personal, bias, opinion. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to take your significant other out on dates to kiss beneath the stars, dance in the moonlight to slow songs, or long walks on the beach; I just don’t want to believe that all it takes is someone who can “sing, dance, and play the guitar” to fall in love.  Three qualities don’t embody a relationship and should most definitely not determine whether you should or shouldn’t date someone. I really am confused about this idealistic vision created by us.  Here we are saying that “we shouldn’t change ourselves; the other person should love us for who we are both inside and out” yet there are countless highly rated and favored movies where someone must change to discover true love; such the case of Aladdin and Ariel.  In addition, we scream and scour at the one who cheated and left us with nothing yet there are films academy awarded and acclaimed when “she must leave the one she’s currently with to be with the person she’s meant to be with.”  Who’s wrong in these situations?  What really claims to be correct and true in any of these cases?  Is this how love is supposed to be?  Is this how our hopeful romantic fantasies play through? I don’t believe that there is a one, certain, distinct way to love someone; love isn’t a concept that can be studied, graded, and tested on whether you were right or wrong. I think expectations are the biggest mistakes we make when we introduce ourselves to someone we believe “fits” our ideal qualities:   He’s a dancer, that’s a deal maker He doesn’t like romantic movies, that’s a deal breaker He cooks, that’s a deal maker He doesn’t work out, that’s a deal breaker He’s a perfectionist, that’s a deal maker He’s a perfectionist?  That’s a deal breaker Expectations will only cause us to disappoint ourselves and make the other person feel miserable if they’re not met; sadly enough, most of the time this is true. Love to me?  It’s something that’s ridiculously hard.  It’s experience; it’s going to take a thousand heartbreaks before you truly understand it.  Ironically, this is the reason why it “hurts so good.”  It’s the greatest high and worst come down.  It’s time consuming  yet passes by in an instant.  It’s like a knife in your back that you don’t want to take out.  It’s a balance act; nobody should outweigh the other.  Look left and right before crossing because chances are there’s going to be a ton of obstacles before you get through.  It’s not a waiting game yet you shouldn’t rush into things.  Lastly, as much as this probably doesn’t make any sense; to be completely honest, it’s not supposed to. Once again; even though I’m trying to make my own definition of love to pass on to you, I honestly can’t and shouldn’t because that would have defeated the purpose of me writing this in the first place.  This is my own personal, bias opinion that I’m sure is completely idiotic to the next person who reads it… …  who am I to say what love is or isn’t?  Nobody.

Hopeless Romantic

It’s rather confounding; at least, I find it.  Many believe that there is one specific way to be in a healthy relationship and that perfection is obtained only when finding the “man of their dreams.”  As if somewhere lost there is a book of love that foretells the hidden secrets of receiving all its glory.

Well, who knows, maybe there is some novel out there already written or yet to be written; this all based on my own personal, bias, opinion.

I’m not saying that it’s wrong to take your significant other out on dates to kiss beneath the stars, dance in the moonlight to slow songs, or long walks on the beach; I just don’t want to believe that all it takes is someone who can “sing, dance, and play the guitar” to fall in love.  Three qualities don’t embody a relationship and should most definitely not determine whether you should or shouldn’t date someone.

I really am confused about this idealistic vision created by us.  Here we are saying that “we shouldn’t change ourselves; the other person should love us for who we are both inside and out” yet there are countless highly rated and favored movies where someone must change to discover true love; such the case of Aladdin and Ariel.  In addition, we scream and scour at the one who cheated and left us with nothing yet there are films academy awarded and acclaimed when “she must leave the one she’s currently with to be with the person she’s meant to be with.”  Who’s wrong in these situations?  What really claims to be correct and true in any of these cases?  Is this how love is supposed to be?  Is this how our hopeful romantic fantasies play through?

I don’t believe that there is a one, certain, distinct way to love someone; love isn’t a concept that can be studied, graded, and tested on whether you were right or wrong.

I think expectations are the biggest mistakes we make when we introduce ourselves to someone we believe “fits” our ideal qualities:  

  • He’s a dancer, that’s a deal maker
  • He doesn’t like romantic movies, that’s a deal breaker
  • He cooks, that’s a deal maker
  • He doesn’t work out, that’s a deal breaker
  • He’s a perfectionist, that’s a deal maker
  • He’s a perfectionist?  That’s a deal breaker

Expectations will only cause us to disappoint ourselves and make the other person feel miserable if they’re not met; sadly enough, most of the time this is true.

Love to me?  It’s something that’s ridiculously hard.  It’s experience; it’s going to take a thousand heartbreaks before you truly understand it.  Ironically, this is the reason why it “hurts so good.”  It’s the greatest high and worst come down.  It’s time consuming  yet passes by in an instant.  It’s like a knife in your back that you don’t want to take out.  It’s a balance act; nobody should outweigh the other.  Look left and right before crossing because chances are there’s going to be a ton of obstacles before you get through.  It’s not a waiting game yet you shouldn’t rush into things.  Lastly, as much as this probably doesn’t make any sense; to be completely honest, it’s not supposed to.

Once again; even though I’m trying to make my own definition of love to pass on to you, I honestly can’t and shouldn’t because that would have defeated the purpose of me writing this in the first place.  This is my own personal, bias opinion that I’m sure is completely idiotic to the next person who reads it…

…  who am I to say what love is or isn’t?  Nobody.